these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
this just has baby written all over it
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Randomize
