I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize