we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
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It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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