I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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