Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
