i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
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