dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i think my mom watched the whole time
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
