Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
