Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
