you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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