A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize