i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
