Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
