Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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