Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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