just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
