I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
