ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
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