I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize