Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
