8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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