Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
