remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
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