3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
