i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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