That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
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