hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
