sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
