I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
