I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
