I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
