Your dad touched me again.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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