what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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