The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
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