I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
