we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
