My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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