ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize