P.S. I can't hear my feet
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
