what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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