Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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