This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Everything about him screamed your future.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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