wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
