It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
My penis needs a shock collar
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
