You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
