Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
