THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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