Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
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