I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
