I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
