That's intense
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
