The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
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