This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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