Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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