Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Im part way to drunk.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Randomize
