this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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