it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
