Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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